Dandapani: The Mechanics of Mind and Focus

00:00:00: My first time talking to a Hindu priest, a former monk has dedicated himself... ...to taking control of your mind and focus.

00:00:11: You know you can meditate for six months every day for six month And after six months is still the jerk.

00:00:17: Imagine if I practice distraction Six hours per day six days a week.

00:00:22: After six months what would it be good at?

00:00:24: Being distracted?

00:00:25: Anybody practicing something ten hours a day seven days a weak is going to be the Bruce Lee of distraction.

00:00:33: If I have one plant sitting in a pot and I had a cup of water, I could water that plant.

00:00:43: Following year add ninety-nine more plants, potted plants in my house... ...and now I've got a hundred potted plans….

00:00:49: …and still with just one cup of hot water can't make anything

00:00:52: grow!

00:00:53: Why do you think we're always drawn into shiny things?

00:00:56: Purpose, focus simplifies sacrifice.

00:00:59: Joy the feeling of happiness is a byproduct Of doing something right?

00:01:06: So we have to find out in our life what is the thing that brings us joy.

00:01:24: This is my first time talking to a Hindu priest.

00:01:29: A former monk who has traveled the world and done many amazing experiences Has dedicated himself taking control of your mind and focus, if I'm said that correctly.

00:01:45: And i am very much looking forward to seeing how these lessons apply to everyday life too athletic pursuits and perhaps the opening new chapters.

00:01:54: Dandapani welcome to Fridino Going Mental this edition.

00:01:57: dandapanee going mental!

00:02:00: Thank you Jan.

00:02:01: appreciate being on your show here.

00:02:03: well it's truly an honor.

00:02:07: I started by saying that i've never spoken to a Hindu priest before.

00:02:12: Can we start at the beginning?

00:02:13: How do you start becoming a monk?

00:02:20: in general, yeah Yeah

00:02:21: well... In hinduism they're technically two paths.

00:02:26: there's the path of the monastic and the path for householder.

00:02:29: The householder is family person so man or woman can get married have family work money things.

00:02:35: And the path of monastic, you can either have monks or nuns.

00:02:39: They typically are celibate men and women that live in cloisters with other men if they're a monk... ...and women obviously with other women… …they don't earn work and earn money!

00:02:56: So those were two separate paths within Hinduism.

00:02:59: so when I grew up I wanted to be amongst themselves about four five years old And when I finally met my teacher, I found someone who...I think to me the greatest thing was that he could articulate clearly or the philosophy-the spiritual philosophy.

00:03:16: The goal that the philosophy outlined?

00:03:19: The path through the goal!

00:03:21: The guidelines which we need to live by and the practices with it.

00:03:25: we need do for that path to get to that goal And the KPI is along the way.

00:03:32: How do I know am making progress?

00:03:37: You can meditate for six months every day, and after six months you're still a jerk maybe doing the wrong meditation or doing your own

00:03:46: practice.".

00:03:47: Like how profound because people on spiritual path think like if i'm just doing my practice im making progress but that's not necessarily the case is shown through a change of behavior and how we act, react to life experiences.

00:04:07: So that basically took me to his monastery which was the traditional cloistered Hindu Monastery on the island of Kauai in Hawaii And so I lived there as monk for ten years As one of its monastics.

00:04:22: That sounds fantastic Obviously brings back memories The pinnacle our sport celebrated over on Big Island.

00:04:29: So, you know it's a very different kind of religion.

00:04:35: I would say in some sense that people tend to follow.

00:04:39: But talk to me

00:04:40: about the feeling of entering a cloistered... How would you say it?

00:04:48: A cloister!

00:04:49: It means you have to step away from your family Your friends.

00:04:54: You start In a completely different world.

00:04:57: Is that a permanent thing or I mean it's very radical step?

00:05:02: Yeah, very radical for sure.

00:05:05: In traditional monasteries.

00:05:06: they can only speak for Hinduism because there are monastic traditions within Christianity and Buddhism in different faiths as well.

00:05:12: so with the Hinduism traditional monasterie you typically take vows at last two years then renew them And now monastery after ten to fourteen year of training.

00:05:25: then you can take lifetime vows.

00:05:27: So, you would renew your two year vows repeatedly till you take life time vows.

00:05:32: I always kind of jokingly say it's like You date before you marry unless you're in Vegas than you marry and then you'd date.

00:05:40: It sounds a little more extreme that the ninety day course to wisdom.

00:05:45: Why do think there is lot people out here today who claim they have lived as monk And gone on some retreat for three months and lived in Samashram, come out to say I was a monk.

00:05:59: It doesn't mean that I play football or basketball when I can say played for the NBA or watched an NBA game instead of playing it at the NBA.

00:06:11: I think traditional monasteries following a traditional monastic path is where you have an alliance with your particular faith.

00:06:20: You take vows of renunciation, of leaving things behind.

00:06:23: So the monastery... We practiced celibacy.

00:06:29: we had no communication with outside world unless it was necessary for our work that were doing so I didn't speak to my parents or friends relatives for ten years.

00:06:40: well My parents you know i spoke them twice a year in their initial years and they have an hour long call every six months to check in, but none of my relatives never spoke to any of my friends again.

00:06:54: So it was a very serious path of renunciation and so much of that was preparing to get in.

00:07:03: It's not a binary experience.

00:07:05: if you walk into there and say okay I'm going be a monk today and renounce the world... That can be very jarring!

00:07:11: When i found decided for myself that was the monastery I would join and then he would accept me, obviously.

00:07:19: He also needed to accept me... Then started the whole process of renouncing things along the way.

00:07:28: so i remember like when I was in university.

00:07:29: at that time you know we'd eat a Mars bar or Snickers Bar and go.

00:07:35: okay this will be our last Mars bar probably ever eaten my life again And enjoy eating it.

00:07:44: I'm totally okay if i never eat this again.

00:07:48: And, uh and would just go through every experience in my life all the mundane things from food to drinks listening to music do whatever it may be?

00:07:57: Just say ok well... It was wonderful while I had it!

00:08:01: And..I am not attached and I seek something different for me greater.

00:08:09: you know I'm not necessarily everyone for that.

00:08:15: I mean, it sounds on one hand you're moving to a tropical island in the middle of the Pacific.

00:08:21: On the other hand You grew up In Australia had an electrical engineering degree.

00:08:27: It's not like you were escaping A boxer's reality Of living on the streets Like...you had a decent life.

00:08:34: And i'm just wondering What is The driving force If your willing To share?

00:08:40: To go and take That extreme step to go and say, okay I am willing on this journey.

00:08:45: To try the journey and see where it leads me?

00:08:48: No...I had a very decent life growing up.

00:08:52: you know i have beautiful mom who is extremely loving and kind cooked and fed her three sons so it was difficult leaving home.

00:09:02: It's not that I grew in a broken house or street where there wasn't an easy decision.

00:09:08: going here would be better than what I now.

00:09:12: For me, you know it wasn't... I met a monk when i was about four or five years old.

00:09:17: I'm assuming around that timeline and When I saw him I said You Know That's Me!

00:09:23: I Saw Him in the orange robes The markings on his forehead The beads And everything But It Wasn'T Till I Think I Was About Eight Or Nine Years Old That I Realized That It Wasn'T About Being A Monastic.

00:09:34: It Was Really About The Pursuit of Enlightenment.

00:09:38: The biggest thing I realized that everything in this life goes through three phases.

00:09:42: Everything is created, it exists for a while and then it goes away.

00:09:46: so i thought to myself well this sucks you know.

00:09:50: uh like why would someone give me something only for it to go away?

00:09:55: I mean don't give it to me!

00:09:57: So my question is what is the constant of Life?

00:10:00: What's one thing in life That never ever changes?

00:10:05: people come into your life, they exist for a while and then may go away or they may die.

00:10:10: We didn't grow up wealthy kind of.

00:10:13: probably middle class are little bit lower middle-class in.

00:10:17: my parents took me out to ANW which was the McDonald's equivalent you know?

00:10:26: And we may have gone.

00:10:27: one say yeah that was huge treat.

00:10:31: but experience going there was exciting.

00:10:34: eating a burger, french fries and drinking a root beer was very exciting.

00:10:39: And then it

00:10:40: ended.".

00:10:41: I'm like well this sucks!

00:10:44: Everything in life goes through that phase.

00:10:46: so what's the constant?

00:10:48: The pursuit of that...I refuse to believe we are here on this planet just to collect experiences.

00:10:56: That seems so ignorant an absolute waste of time because I could reincarnate a million times and still not have all the experiences this world has to offer me.

00:11:09: So if my life is finite, i'm only here for an x amount of time.

00:11:14: surely there's something more profound for me to do than just having experience with it?

00:11:21: And what is that constant?

00:11:23: That drove me into the monastic lives so wasn't really about leading a monastic.

00:11:30: that constant, the self inside of you divinity which is always existed and never goes away.

00:11:38: And it's there for a huge experience in how do you get back?

00:11:41: The monastic path was more extreme focus path getting to that experience.

00:11:48: I mean yeah In many ways its very extreme but another also concentrated perhaps an early investment something that you can reap the benefits of later in life, which...

00:12:03: I always say to front-end work.

00:12:06: Always!

00:12:09: You have the benefit for your rest of your lives right?

00:12:11: Most people do it on their back end but if they are front-ended then you just go through a better perspective with a better understanding and really be able manage experiences better than you would.

00:12:28: that perspective.

00:12:30: So going into the cloister, you spend ten years there?

00:12:34: You choose not to renew your vows... Take me in to kind of thinking.

00:12:41: are you ready to step into a world again?

00:12:44: Absolutely not!

00:12:48: No my goal was never leave the monastery.

00:12:51: My guru died three years after I joined and i felt you know, as the years went by we weren't as aligned as before and then when my vows came up for renewal I decided not to renew it.

00:13:06: It was most difficult decision i've ever made in life.

00:13:10: so that's where I chose to leave.

00:13:11: So wasn't... That I went into thinking You stay ten years and go out and teach No intention of doing any other stuff And had no desire To teach or share My goal.

00:13:24: this is what im going there that I made this choice to leave and had to, you know find the next thing to do.

00:13:34: Yeah!

00:13:35: And finding The Next Thing To Do?

00:13:36: You go from Kauai to New York... ...and in my mind i'm just picturing this idyllic island space to new york.

00:13:46: Um yeah..the first thing that comes to mind is what broke first?

00:13:52: What broke first?

00:13:53: um nothing I think the hardest thing was grappling with the fact that i was no longer a monastic.

00:14:01: I'd wanted to do this since I was about four or five years old, obviously... ...I couldn't articulate it back then like I can right now and It wasn't unwavering my whole childhood.

00:14:10: there were times when I realized Like why the hell would I want to be a monastick?

00:14:14: You know And I- I was born in Malaysia.

00:14:16: they spent my early years that we migrated to Australia.

00:14:20: you get to puberty..you see girls who just go.

00:14:22: Why would everyone wanna be a

00:14:23: monk?!

00:14:25: I could date, go to parties.

00:14:27: I can have fun, travel and you learn about...I get a job earn money by car.

00:14:35: just do all the things that everyone is doing especially even in university where my friends were graduating.

00:14:41: i knew people who are in University like a year older than me or two years ahead of them.

00:14:45: they got a job.

00:14:47: we're working on traveling dating.

00:14:49: it sounds

00:14:53: like collecting experiences.

00:14:55: Yeah, and so was it unwavering?

00:14:59: Absolutely not.

00:15:00: In the sense that... Was there a time when I thought like yeah why would i want to do this absolutely all of the time?

00:15:06: anyone who tells you they never think is lying.

00:15:11: but y'know This Is Who I Am!

00:15:15: This What I Built To Do..I know A Guy Who Created Spartan Racists Joe DiSena And we were chatting once at an event and I asked, you know he does this ultra long marathon runs.

00:15:30: You know fifty kilometers, seventy five long hundred kilometers to like grueling races asking ones.

00:15:35: did Joe do ever think of quitting?

00:15:38: He said every single race!

00:15:42: And i say thank you for your honesty...you know..he says how do you get past?

00:15:46: it goes well as so.

00:15:47: just need to make into that rock....and Once they got to the rock then have to make in their tree before.

00:15:52: I know when am on finish line.

00:15:53: but yeah I think equating everything all time.

00:15:56: So anyone that tells you I've become monastic and never thought of quitting or doing anything else, not being honest.

00:16:06: I always thought to myself in long-distance racing the pain of quitting is higher and longer lasting than what your enduring at this very moment.

00:16:17: That was kind of kept me alive.

00:16:18: does it resonate?

00:16:20: Yeah no absolutely Yeah, no.

00:16:26: that's why I said you know this was the hardest decision.

00:16:28: Have ever made is the decision of actually leaving the monastic life.

00:16:32: So for me You know what?

00:16:33: Was a hot thing going to New York City?

00:16:34: it was just you know i think come dealing with The fact That No longer monastic and This would be my future.

00:16:42: now technically i could continue To Be A monastic on My Own Live as a Monastic And you know, but I would need to follow the guidelines and rules of being a monastic which is not to earn... Not to work in un-money.

00:16:56: I would live off donations.

00:16:58: I will start my own congregation when people would donate to me and assume the role for guru that kind of scenario Which i didn't want to go down their track.

00:17:07: The one thing was very clear about it's been financially independent And the primary reason behind That Is that?

00:17:14: I wanted To be able to say what I Wanted to Say obligated to my congregation because when I lived as a monastic and I traveled around, you know monks no monks.

00:17:26: And we went into other monasteries and saw the gurus in other organization, monastic organizations...I saw how so many of them were influenced by their congregations.

00:17:37: So that the monastic leader or the guru is more like the queen.

00:17:42: You know it's almost like you don't have power.

00:17:44: Yeah The figurehead sits on a coin a parliament that's making all the decisions and things like that.

00:17:50: So you had, behind The Guru was a board of trustees which were householders usually very successful businessmen in women who have influence power money they donated to the organization kept it running.

00:18:08: but here you've got to figure ahead.

00:18:10: so if I wanted to talk about child abuse someone at my congregation didn't want me.

00:18:17: And so what do I say?

00:18:18: Do I say, no.

00:18:20: I want to talk about it then there's a potential that he may stop donating To my congregation.

00:18:26: than how do i keep the lights on?

00:18:28: you know now That You Know ironed My own Money.

00:18:31: I not Determined and Not Dependent On Anyone For money.

00:18:38: in The sense that you know I have my Own Business My Own Business and I run my business.

00:18:43: Then I Say Whatever I Want if you don't like what I'm saying, the door that came in.

00:18:49: You can just walk out of this same

00:18:50: door.".

00:18:54: It really is amazing because again excuse my ignorance but it's fascinating to learn about the ins and outs such a monastery even have an element being able live more purely now than converted into priest who as i understand lives normal life.

00:19:15: You set yourself up

00:19:17: pay taxes and employees.

00:19:18: Oh, really?

00:19:19: Yes all of those things.

00:19:23: Yeah in the sense you know I learned that from my guru because he had setup the monastery With a really great financial structure, you know where he could be independent off.

00:19:36: You know II saw people wanting him to talk about this or do this Or do.

00:19:39: then it's just go like nope they're like well i'm not gonna donate.

00:19:42: It was like that's totally fine Which allowed him to live a very authentic life, but I think if you become financially dependent on your congregation then You know you'd have to do what they're saying and lot of it's done in very subtle ways.

00:19:58: Yeah And don't get this person on the podcast.

00:20:00: He should try this person like oh okay well he is my sponsor.

00:20:03: so What do i do?

00:20:05: Do i lose my sponsor or just get there other person?

00:20:08: Okay, well yeah.

00:20:09: politics and monasteries I did not see that coming

00:20:13: but everywhere there's politics everywhere.

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00:21:39: Take me back

00:21:40: to

00:21:40: new york.

00:21:40: you have just start fresh.

00:21:43: i think this is something relevant too many listeners especially also two athletes.

00:21:48: we always had a saying an athlete dies twice because your identity so closely tied to being an athlete in some stage, You are still so closely aligned with everything you always believed in, or anything that was lived for and the routine.

00:22:09: Did you manage to transfer... ...the skills that you had learnt immediately?

00:22:16: Or is it a process?

00:22:19: The tools I learned from my Guru come from Hinduism And they're timeless really.

00:22:25: They've existed thousands of years.

00:22:27: So i found out if could apply them right away to life because it was almost like gravity.

00:22:34: Gravity worked well in the monastery and outside the monastery, they were kind of universal truths that just were independent off where you are what you're doing.

00:22:44: You know learning to focus is one other things we learned from a monastery coming out into world.

00:22:50: Yeah I can focus developing willpower.

00:22:54: I can develop will power on the monastery or come around.

00:22:57: The way I went about applying it was, you know sometimes slightly different because now i have a business.

00:23:04: Have a family.

00:23:06: how do I apply in those circumstances?

00:23:08: But yeah...I would say all the tools were applicable.

00:23:11: none of them were You know Tools that they came out and said like oh there's no where I can apply this in life.

00:23:18: No It's not that you can't applied is just.

00:23:20: I've found that some times under stress you know, when your rested well slept and well fed then any situation gives you a lot more time to react.

00:23:30: And apply the things that you've learned from somewhere

00:23:33: else.".

00:23:34: That's where I was wondering whether that was a challenge or how would go about transferring certain set of skills into another world?

00:23:48: And I would say, in that sense it was easier than the monastery because you were living within walls and a cloister with a group of other monastics all in alliance to a same set of principles and guidelines and practices.

00:24:02: We went to bed every day at the same time which is helpful... ...and now we live in this world where if your wife or kid is sick so they're staying up late our kids wake up in the middle night can't go to sleep And so you're not getting enough sleep.

00:24:16: You've got business things falling apart over here and trying to do this, that... So it becomes much more challenging to apply the tools.

00:24:27: That's why for me having a very structured process in life is really clear which is clarity of purpose, ability to focus, the ability to simplify your life and sacrifice, giving up everything that's not in alignment with that.

00:24:47: And if you don't then you just get ramified or just get pulled a thousand different directions into the world which I feel most people do because there is no clarity of where your going on what it is you want.

00:25:01: You know i've had the fortune working with couple really successful athletes.

00:25:06: they know what their wants this one thing.

00:25:11: Then it becomes easy because if you know what do one then the greatest benefit I always tell people from that is, You Know What?

00:25:16: You don't want.

00:25:18: But how Do you know How to say no too If you Don't know what you're saying yes To and most People never take The time just figure out.

00:25:26: What they're Saying Yes to so then They don't know What to Say.

00:25:28: No Too.

00:25:29: It's really interesting Because now in hindsight right i look at it And as an athlete i've many a times had some mentor or A close friend Tell me This is so easy.

00:25:42: What you're doing, enjoy it because It will never be this easy.

00:25:46: and I didn't realize that they were referring to the binary nature of sport as such.

00:25:51: You know if your training six seven eight hours a day And somebody tells you its'easy-you kind of you know your ego box up when like no this can't be How dare you say this is easy?

00:26:01: I cannot squeeze another kilojoule out my body

00:26:05: but

00:26:05: i feel Like in The real world.

00:26:09: I've become really good at being distracted and just having things, you know where i'm trying to find that next step.

00:26:19: And it gets better and applies certain things.

00:26:24: but something that I see very often is we're getting really good because we don't have this binary nature.

00:26:32: Yes the binary nature allows us more focus.

00:26:39: say that because I don't want people to think, once we have a goal and actually focus.

00:26:42: We have to learn how to focus in practice.

00:26:44: focused like you're talking my book.

00:26:46: it's skill but when become good ones will learn and practice by knowing what one allows us gives is the better opportunity not be distracted its you know if i can athlete do you ever go all?

00:26:59: this is why i won an and it's the seventy now as a day and you can correct me on wrong.

00:27:04: it's not that you just practicing tennis or you're practicing football, your doing a bunch of other things.

00:27:09: You might be during cardio or weight training or stretching or taking massage whatever it may need to perform but only do the thing that helps get into goal.

00:27:24: everything else you've renounced.

00:27:25: if someone comes up and says this doesn't help me so why would I waste time?

00:27:34: You're very, very clear because you only bring into your life the tools and practices that are aligned with your goal.

00:27:44: Whereas in everyday life most people never take their approach they don't... Most people cannot articulate In a single line what their goal in life is or what their purpose in life Is And Because They Don't Have The Clear Articulation Of That Then How Would You Know What Guidelines Are Lived By?

00:28:03: practices, you practice.

00:28:05: If he said I want to win Wimbledon or the Golden Boot in the Premier League then it's very clear okay?

00:28:15: Now what do i do during that day and how can we get there?

00:28:20: You identify those things but everything else you sacrifice because people don't have clarity of life.

00:28:31: they say yes Well, this new AI tool you should do it.

00:28:35: You know we've got this new social media platform.

00:28:37: you should be on.

00:28:38: okay and let's jump on that.

00:28:40: It's like why?

00:28:43: Fear of missing out

00:28:46: lack of clarity.

00:28:47: also lack a clarity of what it is I want.

00:28:49: And you know i remember you know since leaving the monastery fifteen sixteen years ago And starting my own business and getting on social media, people would tell me oh you need to be on Snapchat now.

00:29:01: Then there was this thing that came out I think Clubhouse or something like that which is some podcasting thing.

00:29:06: what it was?

00:29:07: You need to do this.

00:29:08: everybody's on this.

00:29:09: the next big thing...you have to be threads!

00:29:13: Why?!

00:29:15: How many things do i need to beyond?

00:29:19: It just endless a ramification dilution of your time energy.

00:29:26: And the analogy I always use is that, you know if i have one plant sitting in a pot and i had A cup of water.

00:29:35: I could water That plant following year add ninety nine more plants potted plants In my house now?

00:29:42: I Have a hundred potted Plants and still One Cup Of Water.

00:29:46: I Can't Make Anything Grow Right.

00:29:49: so My Time Each Day Is finite.

00:29:51: my energy each day is finite.

00:29:53: The more I add, the more I dilute and the less things grow.

00:29:57: But if I simplified my life to my purpose, my priorities then i can take my finite time My finite energy today And just nurture that one thing all those two three things and make sure they grow and be and thrive.

00:30:15: but we don't.

00:30:16: We just add more plants everyday potted plants every year More things...more people in our lives more projects, that same amount of time.

00:30:27: Same amount of energy I mean who can you know truly say every year i have more and more energy?

00:30:34: You could probably say i better manage my energy Every Year.

00:30:38: you know i work at it but Can you actually Say you Have Exponentially More Energy Every Year?

00:30:43: I think that's a Tough Claim to Make even as A monastic!

00:30:47: I wouldn't have ever said That.

00:30:49: yeah Eventually That'S what We're Trying To Solve for Energy But It does still require a lot of what Elliot Kipchoge calls vitamin N.

00:30:59: What's that?

00:31:00: Vitamin No, the power of saying no to things right.

00:31:04: The power of seeing know comes from the ability to articulate when you're saying yes too.

00:31:11: Because if not how do you know what to say no to there?

00:31:13: some things are very easy To say in order because you know You don't like it, you know.

00:31:17: If you ask me, you Know Do want to go out and have a bowl of noodles like?

00:31:21: I don't really like noodle.

00:31:22: so it's very easy to say No.

00:31:24: But if you don't know with crystal clear clarity what you're saying yes to, how then do say no?

00:31:31: If you said I want a win Wimbledon and someone says Do You Want To Go Play Golf?

00:31:34: We go like No.

00:31:37: Do You Wanna Go Play Tennis?

00:31:38: Yes

00:31:40: Yeah That's absolutely true.

00:31:42: right but you could be having A great time And i find this in so many athletes that have a clear goal um...and..that Have their path set out where they want to go And they still get distracted by, let's call it the attention economy.

00:32:02: Whether its a podcast whether its YouTube channel show anything like that... That they combine then with their training right?

00:32:10: So you go out and I always had this thing reading in very early Arnold Schwarzenegger interview when he said he was pumping iron on Muscle Beach Like his brain is within his biceps.

00:32:22: And it was such a revelation, especially from the term meathead.

00:32:26: I'm big fan.

00:32:27: that's why i say with all love but for this man to articulate his focus so clearly how would you go about trying to find this focus?

00:32:41: Do have any training tips where he says okay This is something

00:32:50: It's interesting.

00:32:50: I think you have first to come to a realization that You don't know how to focus and i won't say anything but, had the good fortune of working one The best football players in the world And he shared with me?

00:33:02: You know He reached out To me and he said you know i find myself In my home With the phone in My hand the ipad in front Of Me and the tv on And then playing at the highest level Mm-hmm.

00:33:14: and i heard your talk and i realized people tell me to focus to go on the field and get, hey you were one nil down.

00:33:21: And either... The coach says we need everyone to focus.

00:33:24: We've got forty-five minutes second half.

00:33:27: Everyone focused.

00:33:27: when you grow up there no one teaches me how do

00:33:30: it.".

00:33:30: I realized that first of all i don't know playing, but obviously I'm not doing it the rest of day.

00:33:41: So it's not something i'm practicing or becoming good at.

00:33:44: so I think once you realize that You've never been taught how to focus?

00:33:48: That you can't focus.

00:33:49: then begins The journey off Focus as understanding that focus is a skill and there are two things required I need to learn It And I need To practice.

00:33:58: and I look At it like Playing the piano.

00:34:00: I don't know How to play the piano But if I wanted to learn If I Wanted to Play the Piano have to practice it, learning alone is not enough.

00:34:10: How much do I practice?

00:34:11: Well how good do i want to be if I wanna play for my Aunt Ethel on the weekend?

00:34:15: maybe I practiced five minutes a week If I wanted to play for Julliard ,I might have to practise seven hours per day six days a week To play for julliards.

00:34:26: So focus no different.

00:34:29: .If don't realize that can't focus then you know just carry on like normal once your realized you cant focus.

00:34:36: next step How do I learn how to focus?

00:34:39: And then, uh...how do i practice it every day so that I become good at.

00:34:43: You can't be good at something if you don't practice it!

00:34:46: YOU'd agree with me on this!

00:34:49: I would agree.

00:34:50: only setting yourself the goal of being the greatest.

00:34:52: that doesn't work-you need to add some training to keep going

00:34:58: and look at it this way too for your listeners.

00:35:02: If I want to be good playing the piano..I don't know how to play the piano.

00:35:05: Do not play the

00:35:05: Piano?!

00:35:07: I DO NOT

00:35:08: Okay, but we would probably both agree for non-piano players that the more we practice it better.

00:35:13: We will be at it right?

00:35:14: Would there a fair statement to make?

00:35:16: I think is a genetic ceiling But i do agree with you.

00:35:19: yes yeah

00:35:20: okay.

00:35:20: so Imagine if i practiced the piano.

00:35:23: or we both practice the piano six hours A day six days a week.

00:35:27: after six months We may not play for juliaud ,but we'd be better At The Piano Probably Be able To Play A few Tracks Or Songs Whatever It Is and After a year probably much better.

00:35:37: Imagine if I practiced distraction six hours a day, six days a week.

00:35:42: after six months what would it be good at?

00:35:45: Being distracted

00:35:46: and After A Year If i'd made tennis six hours per Day Six Days A Week After Six Months I'd Be Better At Tennis Definitely Better Than Where I Was Six Month ago No One Would Argue With That Right And After A year definitely way better than where I was twelve months ago.

00:36:06: So why wouldn't I be better at distraction if that's what i practice all day long?

00:36:11: And the fact is, you know we have twenty-five hours a day and most people sleep eight hours per day.

00:36:14: If they're lucky so you awake at least sixteen seventeen hours a Day!

00:36:19: Now are you really practicing distractions six hours every day?

00:36:21: or is it more like eight or ten or twelve hours a

00:36:23: DAY?!

00:36:25: And in its ten to twelve hours of days seven days a week... It's not like Sunday.

00:36:29: all seven years then and focus.... Then obviously after six months practicing ten twelve hours you'd be really good at distraction.

00:36:37: And after a year, anybody practicing something ten hours a day seven days a week is going to be the Bruce Lee of distraction out for six

00:36:47: months.".

00:36:48: Yeah and it's very interesting because if you look at The Hustle Culture when people are telling us before five o'clock that they need to have done your ice bath or meditation and answered emails... It just continues on!

00:36:59: That's why preparing this talk I enjoy reading your book The Power Of Unwavering Focus and kind of isolating yourself.

00:37:10: And like you said, concentrating on one plant and one glass of water.

00:37:14: but maybe just take us into the basic concept of how do view the mind?

00:37:18: How are your views

00:37:19: attention?".

00:37:23: Just before going there to touch up at first point I think that concept people thing is if wake-up in morning doing my eyes bath or journaling and meditate for twenty minutes I'm learning to focus and i'm set for the rest of day.

00:37:37: That's why you read my book, I never talk about meditating in my book!

00:37:40: I talked about integrating the practice as focused throughout the whole day.

00:37:45: My goal is if your an athlete listening this You have ask yourself are you practicing focus?

00:37:52: Throughout all day?

00:37:53: If u're a soccer player on the field with ninety minutes per game U have twenty two-and-a half hours that you're not on the field.

00:38:02: And out of those twenty-two and a half hours, are you practicing distraction or concentration?

00:38:06: You can't practice distraction for eight of those hours and then expect to go on the feel for ninety minutes... ...and think your gonna be focused!

00:38:14: Your doing the complete opposite practice.. ..for what you need on the Feel or on the Caught.

00:38:19: Y'all whole day needs to be ritual focus.

00:38:22: so when which means you preparing for game in The Monastery we only meditated one hour a Day as a group.

00:38:32: And the rest of day, we were preparing to meditate because for us, the preparation was more important than actual meditation itself Because if you prepared really well and when you sat down to meditate You just go in really quickly because that would be practicing with twenty three hours Preparing...and then when said to mediate..you're ready But most people take opposite approach.

00:38:57: I'll meditate about twenty minutes morning.

00:39:00: Now, I'm focused and then go out in the world.

00:39:01: And all you do is practice

00:39:03: distraction.".

00:39:04: So that's a point really important for people to grasp and understand.

00:39:09: your day needs to be a practice.

00:39:12: That why we don't teach so much about telling people wake up in the morning or do their ritual meditation.

00:39:21: because I think people think if i just do that, im good.

00:39:25: If i have a salad in the morning and can binge on french fries & burgers & pizza's for rest of day then ill still get healthy diet.

00:39:32: it doesn't work this way.

00:39:34: It is genuinely fascinating because thats what we are doing.

00:39:36: We think that we pay especially as athletes very often into pain bank.

00:39:41: we've done our suffering today , worked hard.

00:39:45: now we need to reward ourselves with something which very often undoes that we've just done.

00:39:53: Absolutely, and I'll give an example.

00:39:54: you asked about what are the things we need to learn?

00:39:58: Do you drive a stick shift car?

00:40:00: Uh...I do not anymore!

00:40:02: I learned how to drive one but…

00:40:03: You knew how to try it at once.

00:40:05: Yeah

00:40:05: absolutely yeah.

00:40:06: So um..what do you need to know?

00:40:09: The three pedals have your clutch, brake accelerator gears steering wheel left right whole straight go forward.

00:40:17: Once you know how the clutch and accelerator in gear works, and that right timing of when to release or shift.

00:40:25: You can pretty much drive a car anywhere you want it go... ...you don't need about fuel injection, carburetor anything else but the car.

00:40:32: You just need to know those few things, you're good to go.

00:40:34: The mind is no different.

00:40:35: once you have a basic fundamental understanding of the mind... ...you don't need to dive into all the things that people distract themselves with nowadays which I spent half an hour in the gamma waves when i slept last night and thirty minutes in this.. ..and was on the REM and I was in the RAP And it's like who the hell cares?

00:40:56: Unless you want study your mind be a professor.

00:41:00: It's unnecessary information.

00:41:02: You never get in your car and open the hood, you know how does fuel injection work?

00:41:07: And the carburetor works... No!

00:41:08: You just get into a car and drive it.

00:41:09: As long as you know what is basics then go from A to B. So when understanding mind if reading my book chapters three-five I talk about the mind being a vast space not yours but rather pure awareness with describe awareness of the book has going ball light in the mind you want to go too.

00:41:33: So what's the big takeaway here?

00:41:36: Awareness and the mind are distinctly two separate things, the mind doesn't move.

00:41:40: awareness moves within the mind.

00:41:42: now at any given point of time either I'm choosing where awareness goes into my or environment that people around me are dictating when it goes.

00:41:53: so if i am talking with you on my phone dinks to it, I'm being distracted.

00:42:02: Concentration of focus is my ability to keep my ball-of-light and awareness on you until i choose to move into something

00:42:10: else.".

00:42:10: And that's the art of unwavering focus!

00:42:13: It's having a choice... ...to hold your attention or your awareness onto one thing.. ..until YOU consciously say,"I am done with

00:42:21: this!".

00:42:23: When you allow your environment to pull your awareness through different areas in mind then....you are being distracted.

00:42:29: So I would define distraction as your environment, being able to control where you're awareness goes.

00:42:36: Now when you are an athlete and... And i'm not an athlete.

00:42:40: I played stuff in school but y'know.. I wouldn't consider myself an athlete!

00:42:44: So imagine that im a football player, soccer player, football player You know?

00:42:47: Im gonna go take a penalty.

00:42:50: It's the last five minutes of the World Cup semi-final And im sitting there just two billion people around the world watching this.

00:42:58: If I could keep my awareness on the ball, and my goal is to get the ball.

00:43:02: I've done this a million times in training you know?

00:43:06: if i can Keep My Awareness On The Ball And Get The Ball To That Corner Of The Goal... ...I'm Focused But If I Allow My Awarenes To go Into The Future In Thing.. ..If I Miss They'll Always Remember Me.

00:43:18: For This Right?

00:43:19: Forget All The Other Things I've Accomplished!

00:43:21: they will always remember.

00:43:22: he was the one that missed the penalty.

00:43:25: you know, badge or miss the penalty in the final.

00:43:28: Forget all of a million other things that are done in this career!

00:43:31: That's one thing to remember.

00:43:33: and now... You're not focused right?

00:43:35: Now your thinking about outcome rather than job at hand which is get ball into corner Which you can pretty much do it blindfolded because you've done it thousand times.

00:43:47: But if don't practice keeping awareness on time throughout day then let your awareness go like well If I miss, they'll think this of me.

00:43:55: if i score...I will be the hero you know?

00:43:59: Think about how people remember and my teammates or friends You are everywhere except here now because you can't focus And when athletes go to a stadium How many of them?

00:44:18: on social media looking up, you know who's watching?

00:44:23: Who is commenting on things and what social media doing.

00:44:26: It's taking awareness from one area of the mind to another.

00:44:29: if I go on Instagram And I scroll my awareness could be...I see an article on gardening.

00:44:34: now i'm in The gardener of the mine.

00:44:36: then I See something on Trump.

00:44:37: My awareness goes through the Trump Area Of the Mind.

00:44:39: Then I see Something On the wall In the Middle East.

00:44:42: than my My Awareness Goes there.

00:44:45: Than I See Something On.

00:44:46: You Know How To Paint Your House with this, like a little tool tip for your house.

00:44:52: Then my awareness goes to different area of the mind.

00:44:54: and in that twenty minute bus ride to the stadium My ball-of-light has been trained to do what?

00:45:00: Go to a thousand different places in my mind.

00:45:02: So now I get To the game.

00:45:04: i'm playing...I got five minutes ago..I put The ball on the spot.

00:45:09: Just take the penalty.

00:45:10: What is my Ball Of Light Been Trained To Do?

00:45:13: It's Been Trainted Jump Around.

00:45:15: so Now instead of thinking I just gotta kick This Into That Corner Which Have Done A Million Times I practiced for hours before the game, my ball of light jumping everywhere.

00:45:25: So now i'm thinking what if I score this will happen?

00:45:27: If don't score that it'll happen.

00:45:29: you know... Will they renew my contract?

00:45:33: You know.. Will these people endorse me for blah blah blah and as opposed to just doing one simple thing?

00:45:41: Because we become good at whatever it is.

00:45:43: We practice and if you practice destruction every day, would be come really get a distraction all the along.

00:45:48: You can't assume like you said earlier I've done my six hours of training Jim Whatever else you have done for your training And then you go okay?

00:45:59: I've got sixteen hours left.

00:46:01: put My feet on the table and they can just let go does not work that way.

00:46:05: That's when the works starts as to sixteen hours afterwards mentally And

00:46:11: where would you say, start?

00:46:12: So I'll give an example.

00:46:13: I was racing Iron Man World Championships and by myself off the front of a field... ...and I cycled past the Airbnb.

00:46:22: we were staying at that time!

00:46:23: The thought came to my mind is whether i turned stove-off that morning when left house because I was cooking my oats.

00:46:32: My way back here now as I have a mantra of seeing rocket which was a NASA start that I saw as a young kid, and I saw this powerful image of a rocket coming up.

00:46:44: And you know kind of... ...I want, I will, I can!

00:46:50: That was the three things to get me back into here or now….

00:46:54: …that would repeat hundreds of times in a race.

00:46:58: Where do think could be other angles which are good ways to start?

00:47:04: To get yourself back into her or not?

00:47:06: because thats really all it is Present, right?

00:47:09: Yes.

00:47:10: But you can't be present if you couldn't focus.

00:47:12: New age people will tell you all the time and you'll see cute little sayings on Instagram by influencers telling You'd Be in The Moment Live In The Present.

00:47:20: That's just all bullshit.

00:47:21: How Can You Do that?

00:47:23: It's like have muscle.

00:47:24: how do you get muscle?

00:47:25: we go to gym lift weights.

00:47:26: I Get Muscle.

00:47:27: it's a Byproduct of Lifting Weights.

00:47:28: How Do You Be In The Presence?

00:47:30: If i can keep my attention My awareness On You And Anchor it In You?

00:47:34: I'm In The Moment If I'm physically with you but my ball of light's drifted away and go like, wonder what should do after the podcast interview?

00:47:42: Should we have another cup or

00:47:43: coffee?".

00:47:44: No.

00:47:44: Maybe some

00:47:45: cereal.".

00:47:46: Not really.

00:47:48: What was that you were saying?

00:47:49: You know...I am not in this moment here mentally absent somewhere else.

00:47:55: so if your listening get a book Study chapters three to five of the English version.

00:48:06: It's in twenty-three languages, I'm not sure how they've played out their other chapters but In The English Version or the book Chapters Three To Five is the most critical thing.

00:48:14: you need to know How?

00:48:16: The clutch the brake accelerator and the gears work And the steering wheel.

00:48:20: if you don't get that right You will never ever drive a stick shift car.

00:48:25: You'll always just be.

00:48:26: you know the cars stall but you need to know when to release the clutch and how much to press the accelerator, and when to change the gear.

00:48:35: And once you get that down... You're good for the rest of your life!

00:48:40: Once you realize that you are not the mind That your awareness is moving within the mind It's like you've learned How To Drive The Six-Shift Car.

00:48:48: You don't need to learn all these other stuff people talk about About the Dopamine, Serotonin, and the DIRST, or the DAT.

00:48:55: No need a ring on your finger to tell you how you slept.

00:48:58: You know.

00:48:58: look at an app then.

00:48:59: Look at the results.

00:49:00: forget all of that stuff.

00:49:01: keep it really simple.

00:49:03: Get back to the basics.

00:49:04: do the work.

00:49:05: Do this?

00:49:05: Simple work and a simple work will take you The greatest distance, and most people cannot do the simple what they want to complicate things And they never make progress with its there.

00:49:19: It's trouble with humanity if not being able to simplify unable to simplify in that the simplest practice is simplest.

00:49:26: learning will take you the furthest on your path.

00:49:30: And so learn chapters three to five, get that understanding right and then practice doing one thing at a time off-the-field That gets you prepared for being on the field or on the court Or on the road of wherever it is you're performing.

00:49:45: Why do you think?

00:49:47: why Do you think we are always drawn To the shiny things?

00:49:50: naturally there's something Somebody can grab our attention without this kind of training that you speak off.

00:49:59: Because I found it very interesting also in your TED Talk, which I recommend all the listeners to actually listen too because we're never taught focus.

00:50:08: It's not a school subject and something somewhere there.

00:50:12: But why do think is that we get drawn away from where are?

00:50:19: Is it curiosity or an instinct?

00:50:22: What Do You Think?

00:50:23: It Is

00:50:23: Because we're never taught to have a purpose in life when were growing up.

00:50:26: No one teaches us this, I travel all around the world and they speak... ...I do like an undocumented survey and ask people anyone here at school got taught that they need a purpose of life?

00:50:36: Nope!

00:50:37: Anyone who conquered this country in fourteen fifty seven everybody raises their hand up You

00:50:43: know?!

00:50:43: We are not ever taught how to have goals for our lives or focus on what is important.

00:50:53: should we pursue in life, what will give us greater fulfillment and a more rewarding life or happier life?

00:50:59: You know how to focus.

00:51:00: We get told to focus...we don't get taught how to even manage our money you know- we earn money!

00:51:07: And then no one teaches us how..what to do with it.

00:51:09: so we spend it recklessly ,we're getting debt.

00:51:12: uh.

00:51:13: So I think so many people in the world just don't have basic fundamental life skills, so if you don't know how your mind works.

00:51:22: You have no clarity around meeting a purpose or being able to articulate your priorities in life then naturally just get distracted by everything around you.

00:51:33: So for the people that are mature enough and I'll use this word on some people may not like it evolved enough To grasp with us Then you need to take up very structured approach of his whole thing.

00:51:47: And the four steps I use in my framework is purpose, focus simplify sacrifice.

00:51:52: Get clear what your purposes.

00:51:54: learn to focus so you can stay focused on your Purpose and your priorities.

00:51:58: Simplify Your life To that and part of simplification Is sacrifice?

00:52:04: You know because i had to give up So much even to say so Much as incorrect.

00:52:10: i Had to Give Up everything In My Life to be a monastic Even Talking to my mom hugging her maybe knowing the fact that I may never even see her again in my life.

00:52:23: Or, you know either cooking or do these things.

00:52:28: but if you have that framework what is the outcome?

00:52:32: A more rewarding life a more fulfilling life...a happier life.

00:52:37: not a happy life but a life that's slightly happier than it was today.

00:52:42: and What's the impetus for this?

00:52:44: You know at the end of day we-we have one life.

00:52:46: we don't get a second shot at it.

00:52:48: We're here for finite amount of time, how do you want to live that life?

00:52:52: You know...we have the choice and but unless we have clarity on our purpose in our priorities.. ...we can expect to live deeply fulfilling

00:53:02: lives.".

00:53:03: It's interesting because as a monk or priest....the word sacrifice is obviously something comes very natural to somebody who's uneducated on the topic, such as myself.

00:53:15: When you think yes okay?

00:53:16: You restrict your life... But

00:53:17: you sacrifice so much too!

00:53:18: To get where and what you did.

00:53:21: there is no way that could have done it without sacrificing.

00:53:24: You didn't go out and party till middle of night when performing at a highest level.

00:53:31: You don't eat all things you wanted to eat or ate everything needed to be eaten.

00:53:35: I just never looked into this sacrifice this chance.

00:53:39: This was my one shot to in life, you know where I thought this would be or realized?

00:53:46: This fulfills me more than any meal then any party of my friends' weddings that unfortunately have missed the ones who love me.

00:53:55: they're still around but...

00:54:00: And it wasn't same for me too.

00:54:01: yeah right i never looked at as a sacrifice.

00:54:05: I wanted this so much.

00:54:07: It was willing to give up everything else for us in some ways, yes it wasn't a sacrifice not being able to talk to my family year after year.

00:54:15: you know did i want this more?

00:54:17: Yes but was there a sacrifice?

00:54:20: yeah and what's...it was a lot to give-up You Know.

00:54:26: uh And then we all make sacrifices In the pursuit of.

00:54:30: when We get So clear and binary Of What is This We Want?

00:54:33: And how does that combine with you saying that joy is the byproduct of your daily activities, or focus on your fulfilled life?

00:54:44: Because you say sacrifice in one hand.

00:54:46: I agree and really enjoy this actually which is why i want to bring it home That there's a joy here.

00:54:53: It doesn't have make sense for anyone else but

00:55:00: yes At the end of day, joy—the feeling of happiness is a byproduct... ...of doing something.

00:55:09: I spend time with someone that I love and feel happy….

00:55:14: …I don't want to be with them or feel

00:55:17: happy.".

00:55:18: So ultimately what are things that bring me these feelings for joy?

00:55:25: For some people it may be running a hundred miles, another person might be climbing a mountain.

00:55:30: Another people might be torturing themselves in the gym for like two hours or training on.

00:55:35: one other person may be going to A monastery and living a celibate life.

00:55:40: And you know waking up at four in the morning going to bed at nine and night eating three meals a day not snacking in between and You never talking with somebody else again Or having any form of physical contact?

00:55:52: People might go.

00:55:53: well this is extreme.

00:55:54: how can that be joyous?

00:55:55: but it's my joy It's your joy.

00:55:59: And so we have to find out in our life, what is the thing that brings us joy?

00:56:04: In the pursuit of that ideally were not harming somebody or hurting people right.

00:56:11: We don't want to do then.

00:56:13: So and Ideally when we live such a life we also uplift others inspire others too Also pursue alive That it deeply meaningful Because I think for me life is the most precious gift on this planet.

00:56:33: The Dalai Lama has a beautiful saying, you know we talk about death not to fear death but to appreciate the preciousness of his life and i love that so much because it is truly so precious And It's so fleeting and so fragile.

00:56:52: How do We make the Most Of it?

00:56:54: Clarity or purpose followed by unwavering focus.

00:57:00: And when I can focus on my purpose and priorities, the byproduct of it is that... ...I feel uplifted!

00:57:07: I feel fulfilled more rewarding….

00:57:08: …and then everyone who's connected to me also feels more fulfilling and rewarded because….

00:57:13: ..I'm feeling wonderful but if i am miserable than.. …i cannot make everybody around me

00:57:18: happy.".

00:57:20: How do you find the willpower to stay in this course?

00:57:25: Continuously – cause we're all human

00:57:27: right?!

00:57:28: And we all have good days, bad day's emotions that run and you've chosen this path.

00:57:39: How do you maintain the willpower?

00:57:41: The standard answer though... I would love

00:57:46: a Dundapani real answer!

00:57:47: Honestly i've had enough of Instagram for

00:57:54: You know, so I subscribe to a Hindu philosophy that believes in reincarnation and That we're soul living in the physical body.

00:58:02: The physical body dies.

00:58:03: The soul reincarnates continues on its journey.

00:58:07: not necessary evolution because you know We could go backwards.

00:58:10: if I just choose to be an idiot this whole life And keep regressing then yeah no i'm not making progress.

00:58:18: So how mature is my soul?

00:58:21: the easier it is for me to stay dedicated to the path.

00:58:31: The less mature my soul is, I get on that path and then I'll do something else in a few decades again.

00:58:41: but someone who's more mature has done this so many times over-and-over goes like... Am i tempted?

00:58:50: Yes all of the time!

00:58:55: But if you're not mature enough, You just won't.

00:58:58: and most people and it's just an evolution thing in maturity of the soul.

00:59:04: I just seen so many People even come on this virtual path.

00:59:07: Y'know with more eagerness And enthusiasm than i've ever had and have left after a year or two years Or three is Just because y'know Damn done enough!

00:59:21: I've done This many times over Many lifetimes that You know, I turned fifty-two this year and i'm still following this path like could go be anything.

00:59:31: I want to be you know But this is my path And that's stronger than willpower at the end of the day, you know?

00:59:41: but it's The consistency over many lifetimes.

00:59:46: It's what keeps you there on This one path going.

00:59:51: That for me its a long term game More Than One Life.

00:59:56: Yeah Thankyou For Your Honesty.

00:59:59: I have genuinely enjoyed going mental with you and exploring a completely new perspective.

01:00:07: And very refreshing, i think it's very helpful approach.

01:00:10: so thank you for all your work!

01:00:11: I can only recommend the listeners go grab copy of your book... ...I've truly enjoyed reading in preparation for this.. ..and yeah want to wish you all the

01:00:21: best!!

01:00:22: Thank You and thankyou for having me on your show and follow wonderful

01:00:26: questions!!!

01:00:30: Thank you so

01:00:50: much.