Vali Höll: Riding the Edge

00:00:01: Yeah, that's exactly what I always say because people said our new scarlet is like no if i will be scared It would not fun to do it for a living Because you have respect.

00:00:11: this helps me to be so focused and the hundred ten percent in the moment.

00:00:17: I think You need to have that respect otherwise We have too much confidence.

00:00:23: Its also my biggest weakness but its also my bigger strength.

00:00:27: When your working super hard You know, you're grinding it out and your finishing second.

00:00:33: And yet when you are winning...

00:00:35: It's the easiest thing in the world!

00:00:38: Everyone will see this live on TV.

00:00:41: whatever everyone would say at end of day is going to be on the restart sheet.

00:00:46: It's like pulling off your pants in front of crowd.

00:00:49: Everybody will see if its good or bad.

00:00:51: I think it's a greatest reminder.

00:00:54: why am i even doing that?

00:00:55: Because I could easily just stay home.

00:00:57: Your risk a lot Like you can have a really bad crash, super easy and that's it.

00:01:02: You know your career is over But we did it all because we love racing.

00:01:21: Valentina Hull Valley I am truly honored to have you on the podcast Hull going mental Is todays episode?

00:01:29: i would love To dive in a little bit And see How Your mind works how you think about certain things and I Would Love to Know when I say Jesus You just went mental.

00:01:43: What does that mean to you?

00:01:45: I think the first thing that pops up in my head is, like... Just riding super fast and gnarly And not caring about any outcome Like when your run of life might have died ten times possible But then it just made me down.

00:02:02: That's for me The one that pops-up but also has two meanings Just a mental strength.

00:02:11: And well, I think the first one is definitely weighing a bit stronger.

00:02:16: It's like just being gnarly and risking stuff but for me in that moment it feels hundred percent controlled so there always are fine balance.

00:02:28: So let start at the beginning.

00:02:30: you were born in Salbach Austria.

00:02:34: That has obviously become a mecca of your sport And I think for most of us athletes, when we talk at home it's a place to recluse yourself.

00:02:48: To chill out and come back away from everything whereas you are also the biggest stage in your sport You know?

00:02:58: It comes with expectations which is all these things that kind of shouldn't be, right?

00:03:03: You can come home drop your bags whenever you want.

00:03:06: And mom and dad will be there to give you a hug or whoever is going to be there talk to me about that relationship like having two kinds of homes.

00:03:17: I guess

00:03:18: i think it's pretty interesting way how I grew up on the mountain.

00:03:24: so uh pretty remote but It was like a mountain chalet.

00:03:27: So we always had a lot of guests and tourists coming in going wherever.

00:03:32: And it was a bit weird growing up because we never had our private kitchen table where when you come home after school, like... You have your private space.

00:03:41: Like you always have strangers passing or the staff walking by bringing food and drinks and whatever.

00:03:47: so I always grew out with like never really just talking to my parents hundred percent alone.

00:03:55: So that's why i'm also quite close Because I knew there were people listening but didn't want them know about mine my warriors or anything else.

00:04:05: So it was actually quite late that we moved down in the village and had our own private space, I think now with this board like... It's so intense coming home because people thing when you're a hometown hero means immediately have an advantage.

00:04:25: but its not true.

00:04:26: i feel even bit of disadvantage.

00:04:29: first off all.. When do write tracks?

00:04:33: You never push that hard.

00:04:35: you always take the easiest lines.

00:04:36: He would never do anything Hard on purpose because why?

00:04:40: Would you like you do train, but you're not gonna risk everything run a sketchy line and then also race scenario is completely different And especially having to home race There's A lot of expectation a lot more media coming in a lot more people that wanna talk to you, want do things with you and even just the staff at The Gondola like they know you because they've seen since your like twelve years old.

00:05:05: They all know your name.

00:05:06: I'll wanna talk too.

00:05:08: You're built up which is also super nice Because you have this support from home.

00:05:13: but it's also A bit more stressful.

00:05:18: i would say

00:05:18: yeah couldn't agree more find.

00:05:20: always there There was an extra layer of expectation And... which I shouldn't do, but that your own expectation is already like... Your backpack is full at this stage.

00:05:34: And yours has always been?

00:05:35: You were a childhood prodigy and you know that's always come with this kind of layer or what you can do and what you're celebrated for.

00:05:50: it really becomes part of identity.

00:05:52: who are i guess?

00:05:53: But sometimes Starting so young to have that success too.

00:05:59: Do you think it takes something from your childhood?

00:06:01: That maybe, You know someone like I started when i was nineteen mm-hmm Like yeah as a very different upbringing and sometimes i wonder Yeah is that's something Where you get in so many of young athletes that are world champion at the young age?

00:06:19: Don't make it through the senior ranks and you did, which makes me even more of an anomaly.

00:06:24: There we go Thank You!

00:06:26: Do you ever think about that?

00:06:28: Actually not.

00:06:28: thank-you for bringing up.

00:06:31: I think its because i never knew anything else like.

00:06:34: obviously I have friends who went to school immediately went university.

00:06:38: they had a normal upbringing And...I always saw them as a privilege Like..You get to travel so much But now im twenty four.

00:06:46: Now I can realise would love to stay at least four days in a row, and not just always like one or two days.

00:06:55: And I feel that this can be the most tiring thing when you get older?

00:07:02: Now i'm twenty-four years old so compared with other athletes who compete for a while now they do it for many years already!

00:07:16: the whole summer in Europe, so I could never do it.

00:07:20: I feel like i'm pretty privileged from where I live at the moment.

00:07:25: but yes...I mean..i have the sickest job in the world and I knew when I was twelve that I want to become a World Champion.

00:07:34: And then everything worked out is a miracle?

00:07:38: Well not a miracle because they really work hard for you But....a lot of kids have this on their list.

00:07:44: It's bit of luck as well that you managed to do it.

00:07:47: And yeah, I don't know like.

00:07:50: of course sometimes when i was sixteen seventeen is like oh like i really want to go to the party but we have a walk-up so...i can't go and get wasted!

00:07:59: But well..I could get wasted if i win.

00:08:02: So uh its always like eh You can party with your downhill friends because i feel like still our sport obviously very professional.

00:08:10: We also work hard compared to road bike or triathlon or cross-country even, I feel like we can still allow a bit more fun in the season as well.

00:08:23: So uh...I chose the right sport.

00:08:25: i think!

00:08:27: We should get into that because let's actually go straight there?

00:08:33: Because I found it really interesting how you described when your working super hard and grinding out And you're finishing on the podium, say in second and your like how one earth can I work any harder to win.

00:09:04: Getting wasted in the season that you allow yourself to space, because everything is always getting more professional.

00:09:11: Everybody's trying like one up each other and it's just forever continuing down this rabbit hole of professionalism.

00:09:18: And yet You need to function as a human and realize Like This works for me and doesn't?

00:09:23: Well I think every athlete at the top realizes That The best time they have when their perform Is When They Have The Most Fun And sometimes it is when you go out with your friends.

00:09:36: I mean, don't need to get wasted in the club and not got too bad like can also have a glass of wine at six p.m.. And still going to bed at nine You know?

00:09:44: It's all about proper timing i would say!

00:09:47: Just being smart about it... He could do her fun For me that something really tried to catch up now and realized That was not good friend for a lot of years, especially when I was eighteen-nineteen because i always thought like oh sorry.

00:10:04: I need to go train camp.

00:10:07: I can't go out because... ...I needed this and that!

00:10:09: And.. ..i was missing a lot birthdays also realizing at some point you don't get invited anymore Because they know im anyway gonna say no Now just allow myself.

00:10:22: okay we're going do this and invite people and cook sick dinner You know?

00:10:27: Just have normal life.

00:10:30: For other people, it's normal to have a super nice Sunday lunch.

00:10:34: But for an athlete, Sunday always means like long rides or you're traveling somewhere around the world.

00:10:40: so... Yeah I don't know..I feel right now that i found perfect balance of trying more and become a normal person but still....but idk if im only doing this because ive achieved something in last three years.

00:10:56: So yeah

00:10:58: Well You can only burn the candle on both ends for so long.

00:11:02: I had this debate with, do you know Brad Stalberg?

00:11:06: He was on the podcast and he's...I really like his work as an author and he always speaks of The Identity House.

00:11:18: Yeah, when I was like in the beginning.

00:11:20: I did not have a second room.

00:11:21: Like it was one studio affair and if you got flooded everything got flooded.

00:11:25: yeah That's exactly.

00:11:27: then i think that is also working really well with my relationship because My girlfriend she has professional freestyle skier.

00:11:33: She just won gold medal at Livigno last month.

00:11:38: Even though its action sport or high-professional sport It´s skiing world And this opens up completely new door to people more social.

00:11:47: You have two teams you can talk to, get to know new coaches.

00:11:51: Yeah but a total new world opened.

00:11:53: and when I'm not on the bike And i am traveling with her and watching her competitions like It's so refreshing for me because it is all about bikes!

00:12:03: So cool!

00:12:04: Sport still about competing at your best But I am just a visitor.

00:12:10: That really really refreshing Really thankful of that and also benefitting heroin You know, in the summertime she's joining me to go to the races and I think it is really cool because at the end you can still share a lot when you're home.

00:12:24: And we talk about how are feeling.

00:12:26: why am feeling like this?

00:12:28: Sometimes if some point your feel also bit stupid while talking with normal friends that oh!

00:12:34: It so tough travelling all of time.

00:12:36: come on now have four weeks holiday even... you know trouble in the winter to somewhere trophy and ride my bike, but

00:12:46: yeah.

00:12:47: Yeah it quickly turns into how many free bikes did you get this year?

00:12:51: So I don't feel sorry for you!

00:12:53: But like...I mean that really is a super team right because your not competing.

00:13:00: i think mentally its so much more relatable than having the person closest also striving the highest goals.

00:13:10: That's, it must be super cool because there is also so much easier to see like certain mental patterns on other people than yourself?

00:13:19: A hundred percent.

00:13:19: and its always so easy for her advice if she asking me but we are talking about this same thing But If I would tell myself that I will say shut up!

00:13:30: This is so stupid!

00:13:31: It was so funny cause you always forget your mistakes And then it's easy to give out of people advice, but at the end is always about same thing.

00:13:43: It mostly like self-confidence not expecting too much and trusting yourself.

00:13:50: I think its all the time the same things.

00:13:54: Yeah probably emotional detachment right because you care very deeply But at the same time your are not involved directly so you're kind of not blocked in your own world.

00:14:05: i would say

00:14:07: Yeah, it's funny how easily It is for me to not care about her results because the most important thing Is that she saved.

00:14:14: like at least if you don't get hurt I'm happy.

00:14:17: but this... Like no.

00:14:19: She wants more and she wants to defend Her gold medal like..she wants To win the overall And i was like yeah But If You Don't want a riskier then its okay.

00:14:27: Okay wait!

00:14:27: I need to....I would also Want to Win.

00:14:30: so uh Its super-super Funny too.

00:14:33: have those conversations We learn a lot and we can help each other out as well.

00:14:39: Okay, so talk to me about this because my wife is also a triathlete And...we both sort of competed on the world tour.

00:14:48: I guess if you look at Matilda You'd be like If she wins or comes last It doesn't really change how you see her.

00:15:02: But if you win Or come second Let alone fifth or tenth, your self-perception of you goes out the window.

00:15:13: Is that accurate?

00:15:15: And it's like... You even love me if I don't win anymore!

00:15:20: Weirdo?!

00:15:21: You're weirdo!

00:15:23: But i think there was already a thing before when we were in relationship That oh..I only have friends because I'm winning Or they just want to hangout because I am winning.

00:15:35: Maybe sometimes there are people who cross paths and they use it if its a manager or someone that's taking little bit of advantage off your Korean success.

00:15:44: That can happen.

00:15:45: but I feel like, so...I would say ninety-nine, ninety eight percent is all real true friendships.

00:15:53: If you have the right feeling for people i'd say But yeah in relationship You don't care at all about their sucesses.

00:16:01: It's only bad.

00:16:02: how person is?

00:16:03: you just want them to be safe and happy.

00:16:06: And obviously, if they don't achieve their dreams... They're not happy.

00:16:10: but at least he can hold them when I cry!

00:16:15: If I may, if you allow me an outside observation.

00:16:18: You've both chosen tough people to keep safe because of your professions?

00:16:23: Both of you...if i'm not mistaken..you started skiing as well right when you were a kid.

00:16:28: I assume growing up in Austria.

00:16:29: that's part of the process was interesting.

00:16:32: Yeah.

00:16:32: so in Salzburg where grew up and there weren't many sports I could choose from When I was little it was either soccer or summer girl then boys and Alpine skiing in the winter Freestyle skiing was not really a thing where I grew up.

00:16:47: It was all about like alpine skis Gates, and racing.

00:16:51: so it was super fun And I definitely learned a lot about.

00:16:55: like very ethic and you know technique Like trying to adapt and also when you get some feedback of your coaches that You know he's telling me something.

00:17:05: but what does even like?

00:17:07: how do i put on my skiing?

00:17:08: So I think that helped me a lot.

00:17:10: And, for kids and growing up it's the best thing to be in a sports club or team because you spend so much time alone.

00:17:19: You get more independent faster i would say... ...and just being with other people Especially when your grow-up on a mountain It is good to do this with others.

00:17:31: Yeah if can't have your kitchen table yourself its better share them out as well.

00:17:40: You said in the beginning you struggle to trust people early on, which makes me think your team must be absolutely crucial.

00:17:50: Just quickly for those again I know you've talked about this in terms of like mountain bike circles but just for those who are new to you talk with us and how do we build a team?

00:18:11: So, I would say because my career started so early or like i got professional quite early it was mostly people of friends of our family even family members.

00:18:26: My manager now she has been a childhood friend from an early age and this helped her a lot.

00:18:34: She is still five years older than me but That's why she is my manager, because... She has been a little older than that.

00:18:40: Be wise and have some life experience!

00:18:43: But yeah they've all been growing up with me so They know where I come from.

00:18:51: We share the same vision about Life And about the world.

00:18:54: So i think this helps a lot When it comes to mountain biking Having coaches and stuff.. I had coaches for really long time And then I was moving out of my parents' place and they moved to Innsbruck.

00:19:11: That also meant that i had to change coaches because there were a base where I was from, so... ...I always said like personal training and everything.

00:19:19: So this didn't work anymore.

00:19:22: It actually it was via Instagram.. ..I saw the Base Five in Innsbrogue and that's really sick training place.

00:19:29: They also worked with Alexander Kilde Like insane Alpine videos Because I followed a lot of Alpine skiers, and knew that was the place to go too.

00:19:39: And it was quite funny because before I was checking out my apartment or moving into my apartment... ...I made an appointment at the gym to make sure the gym was done!

00:19:49: Before even looked in my apartment.

00:19:52: Priorities?

00:19:53: He

00:19:53: immediately clicked on there.

00:19:55: Yeah The support is pretty insane.

00:19:59: It's hard cause.

00:20:00: I feel like downwinds are Unique sport or young sports compared to soccer, right?

00:20:06: Or even Alpine skiing because it's not that renovated in Austria It's a bit of an sideline sport.

00:20:12: I would say also coaches are quite rare Like there is no dedicated bike coach.

00:20:19: I was saying i think its easier for road and cross country Because it's an endurance sport.

00:20:24: so theres way more data.

00:20:25: but For downhill...I Would Say Its Quite Similar Actually To Alpine Skiing Because You Do Need Some Endurance But you also need some strength and explosiveness because the runs are between three to five minutes.

00:20:37: So it's like a super complex sport, obviously all of that technique on your bike is extra on top but I always thought way closer... ...to the helpline skiing way of training in the gym especially.

00:20:56: They were super open for taking on their project so they could start working with an animal athlete.

00:21:01: I mean they're super, super smart people.

00:21:03: so... They know what their doing.

00:21:06: And yeah the rest of team i guess it's a bigger thing is like your partners you sponsors.

00:21:13: and for me The biggest help was that I got picked up by Rapples super early.

00:21:19: So when I was fourteen fifteen they already reached out to me and obviously back then I Was never allowed have a Canon Rapper on my hand!

00:21:28: I like Coca-Cola.

00:21:34: That was

00:21:35: it.

00:21:36: Rebel Cola, thank you and that was pretty cool.

00:21:41: so when i looked at all my partners they have all... I barely changed any sponsors except of bike sponsors.

00:21:50: but I've been with Oakley from day one on, Adidas From Day One On for so many years now.

00:21:59: That gives you a lot of security because last year I had pretty unfortunate situation going on that our team, they went into bankruptcy and we didn't get paid anymore.

00:22:11: And we did not even get paid for the last two remaining World Cups in US.

00:22:16: but i have my personal partners who were paying their whole trip to me from my line coach or manager.

00:22:23: I know there are a lot of athletes out there that just rely on the team, like factory team sponsors.

00:22:30: But if something like this happens you're pretty screwed.

00:22:34: so...

00:22:36: So quickly to elaborate for people who aren't in the downhill world basically as a contractor?

00:22:43: Exactly

00:22:45: yeah

00:22:47: For a team then provides bikes wheels pedals group sets kind of all that.

00:22:54: I assume you have a limited option for personal sponsors, but generally they would cover as much possible so the team can get budget up right?

00:23:02: Exactly and they organise travel, they organise food... They take care at their races

00:23:09: Okay!

00:23:10: So they fall away, they go bankrupt.

00:23:13: it becomes messy affair.

00:23:15: You find this out via social media And quite honestly speaking its bit of shit show.

00:23:23: You go to the races, you don't know what's going on.

00:23:25: You kind of have to put stickers over your bike and all these kinds things And all of a sudden in your privateer and you have to live through All The things that are normally organized for you Was it?

00:23:38: In some way I Know during nothing during is ever feels like yes This is great But in hindsight Is it something that's liberating to you?

00:23:48: because you're like i am completely independent Like If shit hits the fan, I can sort out my travel.

00:23:57: My team is sticking to me—the people who are actually important show up and there are other people in the paddock that look after

00:24:03: me.".

00:24:04: Is it kind of accurate?

00:24:08: I would say yes if you have financial security which allows you do so but also as a person... ...I need to know what i'll be doing for four months on that first day at two

00:24:20: p.m.,

00:24:20: like I need to plan.

00:24:22: And for me, that bankruptcy also meant because I had a four-year deal running and it was just in my second year.

00:24:29: What am i going to do the next two years?

00:24:31: Like...I was supposed to be in that safe space.

00:24:34: have those sponsors know exactly where I'm going into winter for team camp?

00:24:38: blah blah blah.

00:24:40: This is gone!

00:24:42: It's August so I need to ask new bike sponsor if they even have free spot for me on next day Because all teams are limited.

00:24:51: That was most the most stressful thing because you're not planning to talk two teams if your just in a second year In-year contract, so okay.

00:25:01: I feel like that was the most stressful thing.

00:25:04: But then I was super grumpy for two weeks And Then I was like You know what every?

00:25:10: Every closed door gives me new opportunity and I was ok.

00:25:15: I noticed Jeff does gun done.

00:25:18: I still have World Champs coming up and i can still win the World Cup overall.

00:25:22: So let's just fucking do it!

00:25:23: And... ...I was lucky enough, I never was a privateer in my whole life.

00:25:28: so uh.. ..I had some trouble with expense and always stuff that was organized for me.

00:25:36: Okay lets go to DS Have a sick trip with your friends.

00:25:40: I brought my manager and my line coach also, My Line Coach is the best friend from school.

00:25:45: So there's nothing more fun than going on a trip With Your Friends.

00:25:50: It was also good learning to know how expensive it Is actually To go to a race All those rental cars And food shops and everything.

00:25:59: Its something you don't need.

00:26:00: Think about as a racer.

00:26:02: If You never had to be A privateer in your life before so... It Was pretty Fun But I also felt so free, and I knew it was so cool.

00:26:11: Yeah that's...I can imagine because all of a sudden its just the essentials!

00:26:16: You could basically be thankful for this experience otherwise you would have never known..you could've been a pro in your life and won ten world titles then you'd never had this experience.

00:26:25: It is always easy to say at hindsight when things go well but i found like a remarkable attitude throw your toys and be upset.

00:26:37: I read somewhere that you know, You saw other people around who treated the situation very differently Who showed up but then refused to take photos for a photographer For instance.

00:26:48: i don't know if That was quoted correctly But that's The opposite side of the coin right?

00:26:53: Like how do you think Jo soap can go And Take that attitude and Be like okay i'm grumpy for A certain amount Of time then it's time to switch on.

00:27:05: And is that because you're focused?

00:27:08: On a goal, Is It That You Just Come Back To What You Love?

00:27:13: Or Was Maybe Also A Lack Of Alternative?

00:27:16: I

00:27:16: think as the greatest reminder, why am i even doing this?

00:27:20: Because I could easily just stay at home and be like okay sorry screw this over!

00:27:25: I'm not gonna race...I'm Not Gonna Show The Bike Anymore..because I don't want anyone sees the bike anymore.

00:27:32: They don't give me the money, so why am I even doing this?

00:27:35: You risk a lot.

00:27:36: Like you can have really bad crash super easy and that's it.

00:27:40: your career is over.

00:27:42: but we did all because we love racing And i wanted to do for myself like...I knew that I want be a four-time world champion.. ..and I wanna do it cause I wanna win overall.

00:27:53: It doesn't matter if I had massive fancy truck with a super nice coffee machine or aircon Or if I paid out of a van at end.

00:28:02: Yes, if you're a top level athlete.

00:28:05: You kind of not deserve the privilege but that's where are in the Formula One.

00:28:11: like one of the top riders and get some nice fancy things.

00:28:17: it can also work without.

00:28:18: I think really shows don't need to have all the glamorous stuff is also good reminder for me.

00:28:23: something happens Yo, you can do it without and that's brings me back to the basics.

00:28:30: Like when I started racing with my dad in the camper van like It still gonna work if your Putting down how working before and during their competition?

00:28:40: You're so going to be the best even if he don't have the fanciest truck.

00:28:45: Yeah yeah i mean Your skill is not resident in that truck.

00:28:49: right your skill does Not come as part of a furniture or that truck.

00:28:52: its something That you hone over many, many years and exactly that's why I love so much how you said like your free.

00:28:59: And it makes me think of Usain Bolt who famously ate chicken nuggets the night before his Olympic finals just because That what he liked to do.

00:29:11: You know i'm sure every nutritionist in the world is turning around their grave Just thinking about even considering chicken nuggets.

00:29:18: but The resilience comes from a different place, the resilience come from years and years of work.

00:29:26: And moments like this knowing hey I can do hard shit!

00:29:31: No for sure i feel it's really right now.

00:29:35: i'm very thankful that happened because as said always super easygoing career since i started racing everything was going so smooth.

00:29:45: you know not living in that pink bubble but I always knew i was quite privileged with the people who have met, where lukka had come from and all of those things.

00:29:55: but it was a good challenge.

00:29:59: I'm quite happy that could stay so focused on my dreams And also as professional athlete.

00:30:07: you are a bit selfish because... ...I follow my dream.

00:30:11: So I did my thing!

00:30:12: I didn't care what's left or right But sometimes I feel a bit... It's hard on me that it is quite selfish what we are doing, because of us.

00:30:28: We hope to inspire other people but first and foremost we do this because WE want to!

00:30:33: So yeah..I struggle with the thought now in the end.

00:30:41: Yeah i always have the same analogy when the plane goes down and the oxygen masks come to reach for.

00:30:50: And if you go, give your mask to your neighbor because his didn't come down then he can help maybe two other people.

00:30:57: but If You Get Your Mask!

00:30:59: You Can Help Ten Other People.

00:31:02: Yes whether you get that position or inspire others always requires a certain position of luck.

00:31:10: But yes it is selfish pursuit I would agree.

00:31:16: Yeah, I think there are very few people who don't have some selfish element even in a pursuit that seems like it helps the world.

00:31:26: You know?

00:31:27: In terms of you say often... ...you're just riding bikes and not saving lives but The Doctor also has a personal pursuit.

00:31:36: if you look at major hospitals how much ego is involved between doctors to be professor or leading doctor?

00:31:43: I think it's very natural as a human to just be like, okay well this is kind of contradiction and we live contradictions all the time.

00:31:54: We said in the beginning that fun is most performance enhancing drug.

00:32:00: yet somehow get down serious path you know?

00:32:03: We need professional dialogue or down.

00:32:05: And i think its same with being selfish and inspiring others.

00:32:12: That's true And it's like you said, and once we kind of reached that level.

00:32:17: Okay I achieved so many things because i was selfish.

00:32:20: Now I have the opportunities to give back To do sick programs too To help other people create pump tracks and workshops If your not getting into this level It might be harder for us to get those opportunities.

00:32:39: That is true.

00:32:40: Yeah!

00:32:42: This is where I stand, but it really makes me wonder in terms of like building those kind of things and having that motivation.

00:32:55: And having that journey of the little girl you spoke about that wanted to be a world champion?

00:33:02: It does beg the question Like Where do you see now?

00:33:06: what Is your fire Now?

00:33:13: Is it the next title, is that a perfect line?

00:33:18: What... what's your drive.

00:33:20: I mean obviously like i already got this question after my first time at World Champion.

00:33:25: and uh It's funny because.. ..I never thought would happen that quickly Like cause.

00:33:33: when-when I grew up I always had my heroes And they were all like you know end of twenty and then Oh!

00:33:39: They finally got world champion Because their been chasing for so long.

00:33:43: It kind of happened in my second or third elite season that I won the overall and I got world champion.

00:33:48: And I was like, oh crazy!

00:33:51: Everything i ever wrote on my little list is already done.

00:33:55: so that's insane.

00:33:57: it's really cool okay now its about chasing more workout wins..and...I feel like it's-it's really good.

00:34:03: how especially well....i'm never happy with my performance ..I always have some things ok?

00:34:09: I need to improve this , I need the state I am now, i still know that it can be better.

00:34:17: And last year my goal was to become super consistent which is because of all the podiums but they didn't win!

00:34:31: Now im so consistent and leading the world cup with not winning any World Cups The fastest all the time.

00:34:43: So, I don't know...I can always make up some new goals for myself and also like we said before is just having that balance now allowing yourself to be a bit more of normal person trying to be more social To makeup for the time i refuse to be social And being weird and awkward because they want it so well All the Time.

00:35:08: You'll realize you way happier person in general if you do spend more time with other people and invite people for dinner, cook some sick food.

00:35:17: Just have a nice life in between all the stress that is put on yourself and expectations and stuff.

00:35:26: Sounds like it's just more comfortable than your own skin really?

00:35:28: I

00:35:30: don't know whether or not its also live but when you get older... You start to realize.. It's actually a decent person because when you're sixteen-seventeen early twenties, like you always compare yourself and can find something really bad about your self.

00:35:47: And I was like well...I think i have a nice apartment..i have really cool friends.

00:35:54: they do call me....they want to hang out with me!

00:35:56: I'm doing alright!

00:35:59: Yeah sounds like it.

00:36:00: comparison has been the thief of joy right?

00:36:02: It's something that comes in competition of competing and being able to turn that on-and off.

00:36:16: And I would love to know how you go from being with your friends, from chilling and having this kind of... From the outside it looks like this easy surfy mountain vibe.

00:36:32: so then just be a cutthroat competitor because you say yes consistency is your goal winning as your goal there must that you just turn on.

00:36:46: I also, always wondered how it is or how he comes for the people?

00:36:50: Or How It Appears because every time i feel like put on my helmet and also in a safe space Like I put my helmet On And I can Just be myself and Im The Racer!

00:37:03: Its Pretty Funny Because I Never Felt Like I Was Changing That Much As A Person Because I was Always Quite Closed and quiet, just being myself.

00:37:14: Whereas with my girlfriend I was always joking because when she was out there on her skis... She's a completely different person!

00:37:23: Like she is becoming not rude but very... I know what i want to do.

00:37:30: And then she spoke English.

00:37:31: The way that she spoke was way more direct Way more harsh And she didn't even realize that she was becoming such a different person.

00:37:39: It's so funny because with all my friends, we talk about it and watch her... We're like who is this?

00:37:45: Like he's completely different person!

00:37:47: So it's so fun to see how people are doing differently.

00:37:52: How does your girlfriend see you as the competitor?

00:37:54: Does she see you being same or putting on mask?

00:37:58: literally

00:38:00: I guess for when i'm really into racing for sure I'm you know, running so bad and i'm so competitive but when i'm at home like...I don't..i lose anyways all the time while we play card games or anything.

00:38:15: So I don't even try anymore!

00:38:17: But uh- I feel like I am staying a bit more of the same person because I was always that way Like I was also very close off And then I think it really helped me in racing as well.

00:38:31: That's why I was focusing on what I wanted You know, and I was never that girl.

00:38:36: That was talking to everyone at the paddock And i Was always quite focused on my work?

00:38:43: Yeah It's funny that every one is dealing with it differently But i think thats also why im trying so hard now To be more social ,to be more open Because not many people know Who am in real life.

00:38:56: So yeah

00:38:59: Thats super cool if you can get to that stage In that level of comfort.

00:39:04: Just going back to your process, like when you're on as an athlete.

00:39:09: I feel what sounds to me quite structured.

00:39:13: You said that you need a plan A few months out ahead or maybe even years.

00:39:19: And When i look at sport and only started downhill mountain biking I live right next the park here in Andorra.

00:39:27: But when you are endurance athlete thats kind of like a definite no go.

00:39:31: So I only start with mountain biking And it's just like, It's chaos.

00:39:36: You're going down you trying to pick a line and there is the jump.

00:39:40: do take how fast I need to be.

00:39:42: what rocks?

00:39:42: What roots if it rains?

00:39:44: its completely different game.

00:39:46: i feel this structured U goes and thrives in full chaos Like ADK or downhill.

00:39:54: There are three routes.

00:39:57: Its mental

00:39:59: It is mental, but I feel like everything has controlled so far and that's maybe also something why it didn't win last year because Everything was so controlled.

00:40:07: And there wasn't really taking any risk Because they had to go out.

00:40:10: be consistent So you're not allowed to crash.

00:40:13: if You want a bit consistent?

00:40:15: But then he also might know when because she's not gonna push the little bit extra which now Like the women scene is so so insanely strong You need to go over your comfort zone and yeah It's something I have on the list for next year.

00:40:30: But, uh... For sure like it's full chaos.

00:40:33: but i feel that with my plan is always works out perfectly and.. ..I can adapt!

00:40:39: And there also some thing I learned?

00:40:43: That love to have this security of having a plan he gives me so much comfort its insane.

00:40:49: Okay.

00:40:50: So about- I'm assuming you had a Plan A and a Plan B and maybe a Plan C. I

00:40:57: have too many plans, and i need to always ask way too many different people about something.

00:41:03: If you make a plan... ...I do ask my coach or my physio Do you think this is okay?

00:41:08: And then.. ..i hope they agree on the same thing.

00:41:11: if one of them says anything else because he doesn't trust his own opinion It's getting better.

00:41:18: but uh.... I just need that reassurance.

00:41:21: Working

00:41:23: on Working on self-belief, I guess that's because it's really strange right?

00:41:29: Because i think about this a lot like when you're in the zone Which is what everybody always talks About.

00:41:35: This mysterious thing.

00:41:36: i don't know how often It happens to You but To me it happened Like A few times a year maybe for a short time.

00:41:42: it's not even That you get like you Know a whole session whatever and But it's Always that battle between kind of your like Your cognitive thinking your logic your rationale muscle memory and just trusting your instinct?

00:42:00: I think so much of it comes down to instinct for me.

00:42:04: Do you have that as well or is it literally, this is my plan!

00:42:11: Does the

00:42:14: Definitely need to have your instinct.

00:42:16: You always need to adapt because you can always mess up a line, the line change and the track can be destroyed.

00:42:22: The corner is gone.

00:42:24: as they are right in front of me I always needed to react or do it faster than reacting.

00:42:34: That's ideal.

00:42:35: But there was something that I wondered about.

00:42:38: when you guys had such long sessions and endurance sports We do it for three to five minutes where you think about absolutely nothing and your just in the moment And you're focusing late, and he can You can adapt.

00:42:53: He can react whatever but I say when you guys are out four like hours What's going on?

00:42:59: In your head like I always wondered how...you really think about nothing for like Five hours or

00:43:08: no The whole time?

00:43:08: that definitely the whole time is.

00:43:10: It's always there inner dialogue.

00:43:14: The thing I figured out for me was to always come back to neutral, right?

00:43:17: So i had this mantra which is like rocket.

00:43:21: I want-I will-I can.

00:43:22: Okay Right!

00:43:24: I wanted... I WILL be able do it.. I CAN DO IT and It's kind of Like just something internal.

00:43:32: as a child I saw that NASA Rocket take off And I thought That was the most powerful image.

00:43:37: when everything comes together Everything seems perfect.

00:43:41: For Me Like, I would think of that rocket like hundreds of times in a seven and half eight hour race.

00:43:47: Because the most random stuff just pops into your head where you're...I remember leading a world championship wondering whether it turned the stove off in the morning when i made my porridge.

00:44:03: It's all comfortable.

00:44:04: at the beginning You kind of arching your neck trying to do this swan thing.

00:44:08: And what am I supposed to with his thought?

00:44:11: Right?

00:44:15: Yeah, but I was talking to Sebastian Stoidner who is a world record big wave surfer and we talked about fear.

00:44:26: And how it kind of layers in as this kind of necessity.

00:44:31: He really flipped the script for me saying that you know Fear For Me Is Not Living My Life To The Fullest.

00:44:39: I am respectful of the wave, a force of nature and everything that goes behind it.

00:44:43: And i think probably the fear and needing to react for you just is what really focuses you... ...and keeps in your zone right?

00:44:51: You don't have too much time for self-talk or.. What's going through your mind during like a four minute run?

00:44:57: Yeah thats exactly why people say our new Scarlet is like.

00:45:00: no if I will be Scarlet It would not fun as living because I don't think it's really nice if you're scared, like every second weekend during the summer.

00:45:12: So always... You do have respect and then obviously with your big wave surfer a lot more Like If something goes wrong It really goes wrong.

00:45:21: whereas as a viker okay?

00:45:23: You can crash.

00:45:24: He can be a bad crash but he could also be small crush.

00:45:28: so um Yeah!

00:45:29: Its its different level.

00:45:30: But i Do have respect And this helps me to be so focused and be a hundred ten percent in the moment.

00:45:37: And I think you need to have that respect, otherwise he has too much

00:45:44: confidence.".

00:45:46: My coach always said it's one of your strengths but not overconfident?

00:45:52: It can also be my biggest weakness because we stay modest with our way of thinking or racing.

00:46:02: And this is why I was so consistent over the years.

00:46:05: Why never had a big injury, right?

00:46:07: Why am always there when it counts and... ...I feel like i can handle pressure really well Like when he comes to winning overalls and having enough points If I need to perform.

00:46:18: The pressure doesn't do anything with me because.. ..I know that I'm dealing very good.

00:46:25: Do you look for the pressure or need the pressure?

00:46:29: Drive under pressure And I think that was the same thing in school.

00:46:33: Like, i needed to have a little bit of pressure.

00:46:36: That really put some effort into it.

00:46:38: and the same is with racing like Always at the beginning of this season.

00:46:43: you don't feel the pressure so much because oh You still have so many possibilities opportunities whatever?

00:46:48: And then at the end of the season... ...I'm always a little stronger Because I love to be able okay not allowed do any mistakes need to collect points or whatever.

00:46:59: It works pretty well but it's nothing that stresses me pressure.

00:47:03: It is more like fuel for me, so I really enjoyed

00:47:06: it.".

00:47:08: Yeah...I think the pressure is probably one thing you miss most.

00:47:13: now when i don't compete?

00:47:14: Like its just makes your feel alive and this quote from you says standing at start gate is the most terrible feeling ever!

00:47:24: And im paraphrasing.

00:47:28: but talk to What do you mean by exactly that?

00:47:31: When the pressure is at its peak.

00:47:33: It's just how your body reacts, I think it's like feeling nauseous.

00:47:38: You feel like you want to puke Like you run through throats like ten times before a start.

00:47:42: Your digestion system doesn't work.

00:47:44: also in days Before everything going down and on your body has kind of been that survival mode.

00:47:50: But then also once time starts And finally you have to stargate It's just that you need to go through a hard time and feel the best after.

00:48:03: And it is funny because also if you have exams at university or in school, like... You are nervous but different kind of nerves.

00:48:12: I think for now maybe not the same pressure.

00:48:16: Maybe you have to pitch your project To one of your sponsors But its'n't the same Pressure on nurse as there That kind of feeling, but it's not the same thing as if you are finally going to do your thing below them.

00:48:32: I would say

00:48:35: yeah It's weird because i think what you describe is like a lot of preparation disguises courage.

00:48:45: You know when you go and that's kind of...you've been doing for years And getting yourself into the moment To actually be able to thrive Need to see the bathroom a few more in future.

00:48:58: many times it makes me feel A lot more relaxed because that's all I want To do.

00:49:00: like i could not be wearing, a white outfit.

00:49:03: That for sure when?

00:49:06: And It's not.

00:49:06: I'm Not talking about The mud that's the problem.

00:49:09: it really is.

00:49:11: Yeah Is that something Where you ever Feel Like your preparation Allows You to relax a little bit More than you kind of When you know Because you Know when you're on And you know when, there's a little bit of work that needs to be done.

00:49:29: I think your very meticulous... You describe it in your videos as if sometimes wish had more time but when you're on is not?

00:49:40: That's true!

00:49:41: It always like once you leave the start gate.. ...you will see if preparation worked off or not and everyone would see it.

00:49:50: Like don't get second try, its live on TV.

00:49:53: whatever Everyone will see At the end of day, it will be on the result sheet and everybody can see if he worked or not.

00:49:59: And also for you is a massive eye-opener.

00:50:02: Obviously You Can't Have Mechanicals Or It Can Have A Really Bad Day But Everyone Will See.

00:50:08: Then It's Like Pulling Off Your Pants In Front Of The Crowd Like Everyone Will Se If Its Good Or Bad And I Think That Is The Hardest Thing In Your Head.

00:50:16: Even If It Doesn'T Go Really Good Like You Still Have Second Chance.

00:50:19: Yes but...It'S There!

00:50:21: ITS OUT!

00:50:21: AND IT HAPPENED!

00:50:23: AND YOU CAN'T REDO IT MORE LESS.

00:50:26: And is it really a surprise for you or just that you need the kind of justification, or boost?

00:50:37: I was talking to my friend who races cars and goes in off-season.

00:50:46: He genuinely wonders if he can still drive a car!

00:50:52: It's so crazy.

00:50:53: He's got nothing else his whole life, but it's so relatable as well.

00:50:56: You come you step away and then you need that external validation Even though we know that We're actually here for the process

00:51:06: a hundred percent.

00:51:06: And I feel like every time this season begins Like in May he always feels like you haven't done enough even Though you've been riding your bike for that many years in the past already.

00:51:17: and you do max out everything day in the off-season to be the best version of yourself, but you never feel ready for your first one.

00:51:26: And I don't think even if the race would start in September... You still wouldn't feel ready.

00:51:31: so it's always just jumping into a cold lake like ...you'd have to get pushed into and then once you started its fine!

00:51:40: But yeah.. Can we wait for our first one?

00:51:44: Yeah, I

00:51:48: mean it.

00:51:48: that's kind of the beauty.

00:51:49: That keeps you interested as well right there?

00:51:52: They're kind of after all these years Would be something that makes you genuinely curious because if it was decided before The race i mean when When i was looking at your results and i'm just looking a few of the interviews i Was Just seeing like yeah are You so fed up with A second place even Like Second Place?

00:52:10: you definitely live that spirit like first place second places First loser like to you and say, wear your heart on your sleeve.

00:52:18: You can see it!

00:52:18: Like...you want more but also genuinely disappointed.

00:52:26: is that accurate?

00:52:27: Yeah I don't know.

00:52:28: why doesn't get easier over the years?

00:52:31: because thats same thing.

00:52:32: Why am i still nervous about dropping in But then being nervous?

00:52:37: its a process of getting your brain ready To go into race mode.

00:52:43: Why does it get worse every year?

00:52:45: Like, It's fine if I just feel pukey but why do i need to do all the other things before?

00:52:50: Is like...why can't he be okay.

00:52:53: It is race time and its good we know.

00:52:54: thanks lets go!

00:52:57: And also something that started now was even at night after the race..I am so full of adrenaline that I cant sleep barely.

00:53:11: And nurse and that's something they only develop the last two or three years.

00:53:16: I don't know if it is H again, but like everything gets a bit...

00:53:20: You're twenty-three.

00:53:22: let us not over count this!

00:53:23: Yeah no.. But yeah i dont' have any feeling.

00:53:27: even though you do win some titles It doesn't get easy at all.

00:53:32: That same thing with preparation and feeling good in preparing it always starts from zero.

00:53:42: Is there maybe something that comes with the self-awareness, how you become self aware and I'm actually quite cool as a person.

00:53:51: People like to hang out but at the same time be more aware of consequences because... You've thrived in sport where yes okay..you can have a slip or slight concussion But also break every other bone into your body And it becomes an awareness The same way that the nerves before become an awareness because you know, You've loaded up that backpack with expectations like right now for you.

00:54:23: It's it's almost more of a news if you lose a race than if you win it.

00:54:28: definitely like Yeah.

00:54:31: Its funny how your brain is changing but also you experience so much during the years of competing That you hear stories and see stuff happening but you also know how good it feels if he do win.

00:54:48: You always want something so much, But somehow the backpack gets heavy and heavier.

00:54:56: It sounds kind of weird.

00:54:57: When your competing for that long I was quite fortunate with crashes And injuries.

00:55:04: That will happen some day again.

00:55:07: Did i break something or did i have a crash?

00:55:11: Or maybe it won't, like we don't know but you're kind of waiting for it.

00:55:16: But you don't want to.

00:55:17: so prepare even better is not gonna work and It's always.

00:55:20: I had a bit of that feeling last year at the beginning of this season That someone was always pulling my handbrake when i was racing And I could feel it!

00:55:29: Oh this is so annoying because...I really wanna win but Something is holding me..and I can feel someone holding their handbrakes Then getting second again then third again.

00:55:40: This is so annoying, but I feel like it was saving me from something.

00:55:45: I'm not believing in high spirits or anything But... ...I know that my life has already planned in advance and I just follow along.

00:55:53: And just the passenger Yeah?

00:55:55: You believe

00:55:55: that?!

00:55:56: I don't think so!

00:55:59: Even if i decide now If I want to try you know.. ..I wanna risk.

00:56:05: It was planned.

00:56:05: That's what I thought.

00:56:08: So um Yeah, I feel like everything is already aligned.

00:56:11: We're just passengers and we follow the plan more or less.

00:56:16: Well Vali, i really hope that your plan includes many years of writing with pulling a handbrake at the right time letting you learn or getting an instinctive when actually let go.

00:56:32: perhaps accepting it was the right move probably another one.

00:56:39: We have a closing question tradition, and I would love to know when the last time was that you went mental?

00:56:47: He was probably watching my girlfriend win the gold medal like i won...I was so insanely happy for her!

00:56:54: And it was so funny because I'm not an emotional person.. I never cried when I win.

00:57:00: ..I cried once while didn't win ,and he really good for me actually to release everything.

00:57:06: but for sure I'm gonna cry if she wins gold but i didn't cry at all.I was trying so hard to cry, well it just didn't work...i was so happy for her!

00:57:16: But i just couldn't cry for happiness..so we'll see maybe something bigger needs to happen than winning olympic gold.

00:57:26: For sure her winning Olympics.

00:57:30: Yeah let's see.

00:57:31: ...maybe downhill mountain biking can be can be Olympic one day and you guys Celebrate and cry together.

00:57:38: Mali, thanks so much for your time... ...for you openness.

00:57:40: I really appreciate it And this was awesome.

00:57:44: Thank You So Much!

00:57:48: If you've enjoyed the episode It would mean the world to me Make such a difference if you could subscribe on whichever platform you're listening too.

00:57:57: So never miss an episode.

00:57:59: At Ferdinand Going Mental we aim To make resilience understandable as skill Not as a talent.

00:58:07: in the show notes.

00:58:08: We provide the links to the references we made in the episode and If you know someone who is In-the-pressure cooker, I could really do with this episode.

00:58:20: I would hugely appreciate if you would share it within until next time.

00:58:24: i'm signing off As your host young fernina.

00:58:26: This podcast will be produced by pod stars By omr.